While the legal definitions may vary, the general concept is always the same: Consent is an ongoing process of discussing boundaries and what you're comfortable with.
What is consent?
Consent is an agreement between individuals to engage in sexual activity. Consent should be clearly and freely communicated.
How do you get consent?
You ask and you listen.
Ask:
- Can I kiss you?
- You good?
- Do you want to have sex?
- Do you like this?
- Is this ok?
Listen for the answer:
- If there is a clear and unmistakable "Yes", then there is consent.
- If the answer is not a clear "Yes", then you STOP.
- If your partner says no, hesitates, or seems unsure... STOP.
Consent is not always verbal, look for body language, too. If someone is uncomfortable, he or she might:
- Pull away
- Look away
- Seem tense
- Lie still
- Be quiet
- Not kiss or touch you back
If you notice ANY of this behavior, STOP and check in.
Consent CANNOT be given by individuals who are...
- Underage
- Intoxicated or incapacitated by drugs or alcohol
- Asleep or unconscious
- Coerced
- Threatened or intimidated
References
RAINN. (2022). What consent looks like. Retrieved from RAINN